I love having sex, i’ve an extremely healthy libido, and that I enjoy almost every facet of intimate intimacy. However, I made my long-time date wait 8 weeks before we slept together for the first time. Upon reading that, many believe that i am a prude, but that mayn’t be more from the truth—I’m only smart.

1. 
   I didn’t truly know him however.
   
   During the likelihood of seeming like a hypocrite, i ought to end up being upfront here: i have installed with dudes that I known for, uh, an hour or so? Most of us have had our show of one-night stands so there’s nothing wrong with this. Still, I wanted as of yet he. My earlier hookups were constantly gonna be short-term, strictly bodily connections. Thus while you’ll find nothing incorrect with sleeping (SECURELY) with individuals that you don’t actually know, this isn’t among those situations.
2. 
   I wanted to get to know him, and that needs time to work.
   
   I knew right from the start that I was truly into this guy. It was virtually scary in the same manner that I created powerful feelings almost instantaneously. In my abdomen, I knew i needed keeping him about, therefore I actually wanted to get acquainted with him before we slept with each other. Looks like, taking all of our time really paid off when we DID at some point start having sex.
3. 
   I would simply leave a relationship in which I got screwed more than.
   
   Really months before we came across my now-boyfriend, I was ghosted by an overall member and, I’m embarrassed to admit, it particular hurt. I was half unfortunate, half annoyed at my self that I happened to be enabling that sleazeball attain myself down and naturally, my personal safeguard ended up being SERIOUSLY upwards. This brand new man was certainly distinct from the very last, but I was however getting every safety measure to protect myself.
4. 
   From an useful point of view, I became switching birth-control.
   
   Psychological hesitations and opinions apart, it really wasn’t a very good time is making love. I happened to be switching from one contraception to some other, plus it would take a great thirty days the brand new human hormones becoming safely during my system. Yes, we’re able to purchased a condom, but my personal anxiousness over an unplanned pregnancy made this singular safety measure not almost enough. Once you know there’s some kind of elevated risk, you should not do the chance just because you would imagine you’re “designed to” be having sexual intercourse chances are.
5. 
   We were doing ~other~ things.
   
   There are other actions you can take except for genital sex and, yeah, we performed those things. Truthfully, he was thus amazing on these the areas it made for a really fun 8 weeks. Neither people decided we were “missing aside” on anything more.
6. 
   Transferring too quickly damaged my personal earlier interactions.
   
   It sounds cliche, but my prior knowledge if it involved sleeping with men overnight was not so great. Your own knowledge might be various, but mine surely had been recommending that i ought to decide to try wishing until many times in. That, in conjunction with the contraception circumstance, only produced feeling to wait patiently only a little longer.
7. 
   I didn’t want to be played.
   
   We found through a nightclub on our school campus. I was a freshman and he had been a favorite sophomore. Although I realized deep down he was not just like the dudes I would been with in yesteryear, I became anxious he was actually trying to get me personally during sex for bragging liberties. It sounds awful but it’s not by far the most implausible worry, right? I did not want to be THAT freshman lady, therefore I truly wished to screen this person and make sure I happened to ben’t becoming bamboozled. (Spoiler alert: I found myselfn’t becoming bamboozled.)
8. 
   Waiting did not improve intercourse any significantly less amazing.
   
   In reality, it probably managed to get better because we generally had 8 weeks of amazing foreplay before the major minute. Plus, we knew each other pretty well at that point, so that it was not shameful or unpleasant want it has been. We had been able to bring emotion involved with it, enjoy, and really create an excellent very first time with each other.
9. 
   Important thing: you can sleep with some one at your very own speed.
   
   When you need to rest with some one right away, take action! It doesn’t allow you to promiscuous (another phrase we must discard forever) should you feel the urge having safe gender with some body you are drawn to. On the other hand, it generally does not get you to any type of “prude” to wait patiently to possess gender, whether that is for a few months or until relationship. The great thing about it’s that it’s
   
   your own
   
   option, maybe not someone else’s when you decide getting gender and no one can assess you for the.